Ya’ll, Really?

bikinis,tx

I’ve been casting about for something fun, highlighting the unique universe of Texas. As a native Californian living in Texas, I’m really an alien in a foreign land. The only country music I know are the Dixie Chicks, and sadly, they’re scourged here in Texas. I have no Republican bone in my political body, and I’m a might too liberal in my religious beliefs. There are other kindred spirits who are real Texans, but they aren’t the majority. I liken this to how conservatives congregating in Orange County California (and my wonderful UC Berkeley grad, redneck brother in Orangevale, California) might feel about the rest of California.

I was excited about a prospective idea when my saintly husband highlighted an article about a Texas town changing it’s name that made his newsfeed. He said it had to be nearby since the article cited was from our local, weekly paper. Then he tells me the new name of the town: Bikinis. I started laughing and said he couldn’t be serious. Texas? Why? For tourism? Seriously?

Oh, boy! What a hornet’s nest I uncovered online looking for the original article! Since it made national news (again, seriously?), maybe some of you have seen it? Apparently the story picked up made for great PR, but isn’t totally factual: a Texas entrepreneur “bought a ghost town” off Craigslist and renamed it Bikinis. The buyer, Doug Guller, is an entrepreneur and creator of the Bikinis Sports Bar and Grill franchise. He didn’t buy a ghost town, but a 1.6 acre of land. He’s not going to put one of his “breastraunts” (yes, he actually uses that term on his website) on the site. There was a lawsuit. The locals nearby aren’t happy. And he is naming it Bikinis. Since I can’t do the weirdness of this justice, I have extracurricular reading below for you.

Not only am I an alien in a foreign land, I’m an aging feminist who’s old enough to remember when sexism was the norm. Just when you think we’re starting to make some progress with social issues, something like “breastraunts” surfaces. Seriously offensive.

The original Fredericksburg Standard article: ‘Bikinis’ bottoms out with area’s rural residents.

CNN’s Cooper Anderson’s 360’s Ridiculist: Bikinis, Texas.

Local Phil Houseal’s article giving some pre-Bikinis history and personal experience: Bikinis at Bankersmith?

Photo: Alamo Springs Ranch.com

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