I Need Your Help

Marriage is a hot topic these days! I’ve been officiating weddings and civil unions for over 30 years. I used to conduct premarital sessions with couples to talk about some of the issues that will certainly come up in the course of their married life. I gave the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment and went over their results, using it as a foundation for helping each to see how personality differences impact relationships and give insight for understanding and coping with those differences. We also covered the usual array of topics: money, sex, intimacy, children, communication, in-laws, along with planning their ceremony.

What I learned early on was couples were so caught up in the planning and excitement of their wedding, as well as all the stress of this very unnatural time in their lives, that they weren’t really open to delving into the intricacies of their relationship. They were much more open to implementing some new skills three to six months into the marriage. By then, they had a few trouble spots surface or were realizing marriage was not quite what they were expecting. By this time, they hadn’t spent years perfecting unhealthy coping mechanisms and ugly communication habits. There was hope to make early course corrections that would better serve them as they continued adjusting to their new life together.

I need your help. I’m in the processing of writing a book for couples after their wedding. I’m hoping you’ll share with me your thoughts and insights of things that you learned or observed in the months and years after your wedding or commitment ceremony.

Marriage is a huge adjustment and yet we’re not really good about talking about it. Sometimes hearing what others have experienced and learned gives hope when you feel like you’re the only ones who aren’t experiencing the marital bliss everyone talks about.

I’m interested in anything you have to offer!┬áIt can be a simple list or you can wax as eloquently as your little heart desires. I’m hoping to hear from those of you who are married, those who are divorced, same-gender couples, widowed, or any combination thereof!

To make it easy for you, there are a variety of ways to share your wisdom with me:

Thanks, in advance, for helping me out!

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