Family Genealogy by Jasper Bunny

JasperPoseMy Auntie came to see me today! She was really bringing my Mama home after having both ends scoped (I’m telling you; that’s how my Mama-the-nurse talks all the time!), but she did come in to see me. Those two sisters can talk! It makes my little bunny ears tingle.

My Auntie was telling Mama that she and Uncle Saint Sam (he deserves every honorific title) are going down to Fresno watch the granddaughters for the weekend. That got me thinking about how the granddaughters are related to me. I don’t have any bunny siblings or relatives that I know of since I was an orphan. My human family isn’t so big, but you start adding in the granddaughters and first-cousins-once removed and it gets complicated really fast.

If I really wanted to be correct about this genealogy, we’d also have to figure out how The Boy fits in, since he’s the brother of the father of the granddaughters! That’s WAY too complicated for even a very smart bunny like me.

The granddaughters are Mama’s grand-nieces since she is the aunt to their father. That makes me a first-cousin to the granddaughters’ father and his daughters (aka the granddaughters) are my first cousins-once removed. Now when they have children, their children will be my first-cousins-twice-removed.

Now, if I had children – which I’m not because the whole world now knows the story of my nibbly bits – my bunny kids and my first-cousins-once-removed kids (aka the granddaughters’ kids) would be second cousins to each other and my first-cousins-twice removed.

It’s a good thing I only have a human family. If bunny’s really bred as much as people say bunny’s breed, I’d never be able to keep my bunny genealogy straight! It’s also a good thing that I don’t bible-talk. We’d all be lost in who’s begetting (begotten?) whom!


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