Easter Monday by Jasper Bunny

JasperBunny_FotorPhew! I survived Easter and made it to Easter Monday. Easter is so stressful for us bunnies. Easter bunny this. Easter bunny that. You’d think Easter was our holiday, but we all know bunnies don’t really get their own holiday.

Thankfully, there were no chocolate bunnies at my Mama’s or Auntie’s house, although my Auntie did send dark chocolate See’s Easter bunnies to her granddaughters and their parents. She did it in secret because she knew how upsetting it would be for me. The thought of someone biting off bunny ears or cute little bunny tails is enough to give me the wiggle-willies.

The real reason Easter is so stressful for us bunnies and chicks is because people think bunnies and chicks make cute little Easter gifts to children. There is no denying we are adorable … and high maintenance. Adults don’t like high maintenance. Children really don’t like high maintenance. That’s why so many of us get abandoned. Some bunnies get taken to a rescue center, but others, like me, get dropped off in the wilds. I still get nightmares about being in the wilds with all those coyotes and foxes and other beasts lurking around for a tasty morsel.

Did you know that Easter Day lasts eight days? I about freaked out when I learned that. The build up to Easter is stressful enough, and to add fifty more days on to it?!? Why don’t they just call it Easter Octave? Maybe the Roman Catholics do. I’m a Protestant bunny, myself. The fifty days of Easter is called Eastertide (not very original). The next big Christian holiday is Pentecost. Now that is a wild time!

My Mama was asking by Auntie about Jesus and did he hang around or go away again. I’m glad she didn’t ask me because I certainly don’t know! I can tell you this: God knew what God was doing with this whole resurrection-life-changing thing. I was reading about the man whose daughter won a bunny at his company’s Easter party. The next year he took the bunny with them to the party. He had a sign that said, “Free bunny to good home or recipe.” That man needs Jesus!


Bunny Love by Jasper Bunny

Jasper in hayFor the record: this is not about burlesque bunny love. I’m an upstanding kind of bunny and didn’t even know about that stuff! Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot about puppies and love lately. It is February, afterall.

Dogs have been in the news lately because of the Winter Olympics in Sochi. There have been lots of reports in the news about all those homeless dogs being intentionally poisoned. I think of how many are puppies and it makes my little bunny heart break! I was really glad to hear that a rich guy came forward to provide shelters for them.

Then there was the puppy and clydesdale commercial during the Super Bowl. Who doesn’t love a cute little puppy, especially one who makes a special friend with the pony and doesn’t want to leave his best friend, even if he is being adopted into a loving home?!? Did you see how happy that little puppy was when he got to stay? That was a very happy puppy happy dance!

Puppy love is sweet, but true bunny love is for reals. Bunny love isn’t a crush or an infatuation. It’s sincere. Us bunnies have had a hard go of things. I was like those homeless dogs. If I hadn’t been rescued, I most certainly would have been eaten by some other animal. I’m so little, I would have only been a little tasty morsel. It’s not nice to treat us fur-beings badly because you don’t want us around anymore. We share this planet too.

Adoption is definitely better than the alternative, but we also like having a say on where we go. I am very grateful every day for my human Mama. The Boy was very nice, but he wasn’t able to take care of me on his own. I miss him, but I am glad I also got to have a say on where I live. It’s really hard being homeless and not having any biological family around. People don’t understand we have feelings and fears too. We need to know we will be protected and loved.

I guess when it comes right down to it, all of us creatures are not really so different from each other. Maybe we all need to take a moment and remember to share a little bunny love.


February by Jasper Bunny

Jasper in BasketIt’s February. I’m having a hard time getting my little bunny head around how humans orient themselves. We celebrated the New Year on the first. Then I find out that the last day of January was the beginning of the Lunar New Year. 2014 is the Year of the Horse. We have to wait until 2023 until the next Year of the Rabbit! I have to suffer through all those other animals before we come to MY year.

Here’s the other thing I don’t get about February. The origins of the name come from the Latin word februum which means purification. I guess there was some purification ritual those ancients did. I can see why February has been conscripted as the month of love. Who wants to be purified? It sounds like pureed. My critical care food is pureed. Actually its dried and get constituted into a pureed-like gruel. It’s still disgusting.

I think my human Auntie is going to spend the whole month of February blogging about love. I tried to tell her there isn’t enough stuff about love to write about, but she seems adamant. She likes to have themes and series and all this structured stuff. Nobody and certainly no bunny – especially this one – cares, but she told me it helps her organize her thinking. Saint Uncle Sam thinks she thinks too much.

So if she’s determined to dedicate the month of February to love, here’s what I thinks she should focus on:

  • What does it really mean to love one another?
  • Why am I supposed to love my enemy? I don’t like them, so why would I love them?
  • What do you do if you love somebunny and they don’t love you back?
  • What is self-love anyway?
  • Is it true that all you need is love?

Well, she hasn’t asked me my opinion so I guess we’ll just have to see what she writes about. The 50th anniversary of the Beatles coming to the U.S. is this month. What better way to kick off a month of love than their classic, All You Need Is Love?!? If you watch this YouTube video of their recording session, you’ll see they used an accordion!



Our Animal Instincts by Jasper Bunny

Jasper at CampI don’t think Our Animal Instincts has ever been used as a theme for Vacation Bible School. It might not be appropriate for school-age children. But then my kitty sibs and kitty cousins aren’t children. I’m not a human child either, but given how things are going at Camp this week, I’m definitely more evolved than these four cats!

My human Mama is at Lake Tahoe and has left us with my Auntie and Uncle Saint Sam. While my kitty relatives are displaying their finest versions of animal instincts, my human Mama is only 11 miles away where the infamous Donner Party succumbed to their animal instincts and ate members of their party. Is that ironic or what?!?

I was really looking forward to going to Camp. I get to camp out the entire time! I have my own bunny-version tent which allows me to be out all day and all night! Auntie makes is a fun place for me with little areas to hide and make me feel safe. Actually, I think she didn’t like me eating her Hebrew Bible the last time I was here. She’s knows my new hobby is stripping cords so I don’t have access to any cords here. I’m really okay with that since there are so many other fun things to do. We listen to classical music all day too. I’m particularly fond of Beethoven. I think if more humans listened to his music, it would help soothe their animal instincts.

The kitties are also listening to classical music, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to make any difference with their animal instincts. I think they are prideful and it gets in the way of them playing nicely with others. Actually, Midori and I are playing well together. I have been sharing my carrot toy with Midori and Takuma. It’s not my favorite toy, but I’m still sharing it.

I really like playing catch. Midori taught me. She has a favorite soft ball that has a bell inside. Auntie throws the ball, getting it to ricochet off the furniture. If she just throws the ball, Midori catches it in her mouth and no one else can play. Midori runs after it and brings it back to Auntie. She picks the ball up in her mouth and drops it right off at Auntie’s feet. It looked like lots of fun so I decided to join in. I try to get to the ball before Midori and push it away. I can’t pick it up in my mouth, but we play bunny-kitty soccer for two passes, then Midori picks up the ball in her mouth and brings it back to Auntie so she can throw it again. It’s really fun and we’re playing nicely with each other.

I can’t say so much for the other three. Spirit hisses and growls at every one and every thing. She’s hiding out behind the knives on the kitchen counter. I don’t think that’s good energy for her animal instincts. Takuma wants to play with everyone, but he’s needs to work on his social skills. Maui is staying out of the fray right now. I’m okay with that because he likes to taunt me. That’s not nice.

Auntie understands we all have our animal instincts. She says we need a time out and she puts us in isolation when we start bothering each other too much. We may have our animal instincts, but we are way too civilized to eat each other!

Pushing Boundaries by Jasper Bunny

Jasper BoundariesPushing boundaries is my New Year’s revolution (that was not a misspelling nor a typo). In fact, I think it should be everyone’s New Year’s resolution. Maybe then we’d have a real revolution and life would be better for every living creature, but I’m getting WAY ahead of myself.

My Auntie has been blogging recently about Epiphany and epiphanies. Bunnily (since I’m a bunny it doesn’t make sense to say “personally”), when you get to the place of pushing boundaries, you’ve had an epiphany about something and are testing it out. So my little post fits right into her theme this week. Don’t you just love it when everything comes together nicely?!?

I’ve been relegated to a limited space, with limited time out of my gated home. My human Mama, who is a nurse and works very long hours saving people’s lives, thinks this is best for me, especially after my last attempt at pushing boundaries. Sometimes there is no reasoning with her, so I decided to take a new approach. I also thought this would be a great way for me to see if extending my boundaries was something I really wanted.

I live in a gated house that really is a euphemism for c-a-g-e. When I’m let out of my gated house it’s into a gated community which really is a nice way for saying “fenced-in” area. The fence is a barrier and it restricts access to certain areas like the back of the entertainment area, the tiled hallway, stairs, and corners that I’ve begun removing her unwanted carpet for her. I thought she’d be happy about the carpet. She removed all the carpet in another part of the house and has been talking forever about removing this carpeting too. I think she’s resisting my help because she’s resisting change, but my Auntie told me that was being judgmental and unbecoming to such a wise bunny as myself.

The good thing about all this fencing as boundaries is that it has challenged me to think outside the box (pun intended) and try some new things. How else will I grow and develop if I don’t try new things? How will I know my greater potential if I’m not creatively exploring new frontiers? How will I discover my greater purpose, and it’s not rabbit gloves, if I don’t expand my abilities? You don’t survive all that I’ve survived only to languish in a cage bored to near-death!

Here’s what I’ve learned initially about pushing boundaries:

Decide. You first must decide what one boundary to push. You won’t know if you’re successful at achieving what you want if you’re pushing too many boundaries at the same time.

Plan. I really have to plan because my time out of my cage is so limited. I’m also very small and have limited bunny resources so I must make the most of everything I have.

Execute. This is the funnest part of pushing boundaries: doing it! I’m a very determined bunny and once I get started, I’m on my mission to accomplish as much as I can, in the time I have, with the resources available to me. I always, always, always feel good after executing.

Celebrate. Sometimes I’m so tired after all of my efforts, and a little worried about what my Mama is going to say, but I always do my little celebration dance when it’s all over. I look so cute doing it, she can’t stay mad at me very long. Usually she joins in and we play a little game of tag too. Win-win!

Here’s to your own New Year’s revolution and pushing your own boundaries!

December 7 ~ Discovering Advent by Jasper Bunny

Jasper and CordsDiscovery is like an epiphany. (I now know it’s Advent and Epiphany comes in January.) I have been a very busy bunny discovering all sorts of things! I discovered new places in my bunny territory. I discovered that I’m creative. And I discovered Advent.

You can probably tell by the picture the new place and creativity I discovered. Everyone had gone to bed. My kitty siblings get to sleep upstairs in a cozy bed with flannel sheets with our human Mama. I, on the other hand, have to stay in the same old downstairs. Most of the time I don’t mind too much because they all sleep and nighttime is my most creative time. It’s actually kinda nice not having all those other beasts around.

I was starting to get complacent. That is never a good sign for anyone, bunny or human, so I decided to explore the outer edges of my confinement. I’d been practicing moving things around and testing my strength with my house and litter box. I was able to move my fence and discovered a whole corner of the room I hadn’t explored!

Oh my! A bunny’s delight! Cords!! Lots of cords! Not only were there lots of cords, there was a virgin territory of carpet I hadn’t explored. I was is bunny paradise! I got busy because my Mama gets up at 4:30 to go save lives as a nurse at the hospital and I had an idea she would make me leave my new playground. (How do we know these things?!?)

Luckily for all of us, it’s Advent. We are not a formal, religious household and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one in this house who didn’t know about Advent. My Mama says she leaves all that up to her sister.

 Advent Scripture

Then, oh then, a tiny shoot cultivated and nurtured by the Eternal will emerge new and green, promising beauty and glory. And it will be a resting place, protected from the heat of the day, a place of shelter and retreat amid storms and rain. ~ Isaiah 4:2, 6

Anyway, I’m discovering that Advent gives us hope and allows us to begin again in a new way. I also discovered there is a God (Yes. I did not get made into a rabbit glove for my misdeeds.) and God fulfills God’s promise of constant presence, provision, and protection. I experienced God’s protection first-hand because I didn’t get fried when I chewed on all those cords. My Mama says it’s because they were unplugged, but that could have been God’s presence, provision and protection; my discovery, expressing my creativity as a creature of God, the unplugged cords, and living to see another day!

Advent Action

This Advent stuff is new to me, but it has got me to thinking. How do you see God’s presence, provision, and protection in your own life?

Action Prayer

Thank you, God, that I can discover new things about myself and You every day. Amen.

Bible Exhortations for Employers by Jasper Bunny

JasperBible exhortations for employers sounds ominous, if you ask me. It also sounds like something no one will read. That’s probably why I got assigned to write about it! Sometimes a little bunny has to do things he doesn’t want to do … like this.

Let me start by telling you I am not religious. I’m a bunny, a very spiritual bunny. Maybe that’s why I didn’t completely freak out when my Auntie said this topic was up next in the blog queue. (Believe me. I tried talking her out of it.) Think about it. Humans take advice from all sorts of ancient wise people and not-so-wise contemporary people. So why not a few verses from the Bible? There’s some good, even radical, stuff in there if you can get past the begets and who smote who.

This hasn’t been a very good week for employers like Walmart and McDonald’s or student groups like Young Conservatives for America. It makes a bunny wonder if they’ve never heard of the Golden Rule! Even this bunny knows you ought to treat bunnies – or people – the way you yourself would like to be treated. That was revolutionary thinking in Bible times and it would transform the workplace if it were applied today. (But no one is asking for my bunny opinion.)

There was this guy in the Bible whose name was Job (That was his real name!) and he was a really righteous man. He said this:

If I have rejected the cause of my male or female slaves,
    when they brought a complaint against me;
what then shall I do when God rises up?
    When [God] makes inquiry, what shall I answer [God]?
Did not [God] who made me in the womb make them?
    And did not one fashion us in the womb? ~ Job 31:13-15

Bible Exhortation #1: Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, for you know that you also have a Master in heaven. ~ Colossians 4:1

Jasper Translation: At the last day you will not have to answer to the stockholder or to the customer or to the government regulator or to the person in the company higher than you, but to and only to the Lord Almighty.

It sure sounds to me like a worker deserves his wages. And its application of that principle cuts right across capitalist considerations of the cost of labor. No doubt what a company pays an employer will, in many ways, be determined by its balance sheet, by market forces, by the availability of labor and the like. But Scripture is well aware that market forces can place an employer in a position of advantage over a worker, making it possible for him to pay his workers less than they ought to be paid in accordance with principles of Christian equity, justice, and love. (That’s Professor Jasper, for you!)

Just to make sure that one verse wasn’t a fluke, I found all these too!

Don’t exploit the poor and needy people whom you hire to work for you, whether they’re fellow Israelites or some of the foreigners who live in your cities. Pay them on the same day they work for you, before the sun goes down, because they’re poor and they’re really counting on the money. If you don’t, they’ll cry out to the Eternal, and He’ll find you guilty of wicked actions. ~ Deuteronomy 24:14-15

Listen. You held back a just wage from the laborers who mowed your fields, and that money is crying out against you, demanding that justice be done. The cries of the people who harvested your crops and made you a profit have fallen upon the ears of the supreme Lord of heavenly armies. ~ James 5:4

Woe to the one who builds his palace on the proceeds of unrighteousness,
who adds upper rooms on the gains of injustice,
Who forces his own people to labor for nothing,
who refuses to pay them for all their hardwork. ~ Jeremiah 22:13

Then I will approach you for judgment, and I will be a swift witness against the constant sorcerers; the chronic adulterers; the habitual liars; those who continue cheating wages from their hired laborer, a widow, or an orphan; and those who always reject the immigrant, not fearing Me, the Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies.  ~ Malachi 3:5 
(The workers were paid something, of course, but not what was rightly theirs!)

For 20 years, I have been in your household. I served you 14 of those years in return for your two daughters, and six years for your flock. And you have altered my payment 10 times. ~ Genesis 31:41

(Laban is an example of a crafty employer who uses all manner of strategies to pay as little as possible to his workers and keep as much as possible for himself! He changed Jacob’s wages 10 times in an effort to defraud him of his due! That was one messed up family!)

Bible Exhortation #2: Employers are obliged to consider the general interests of their employees as human beings, valued by God and created in God’s image.

Jasper Translation: It’s not enough that if the wage is adequate, the company has done its duty to its employers. God would never look with favor on a moneyed class whose pleasures were earned by the blood and tears of the working poor.

Today there are a number of ways in which employers can mistreat employees: cruel speech, poor, unsanitary, or unsafe working conditions, a failure to appreciate and commend faithful labor, little concern for job security, sexual harassment, and a bunch of other yucky stuff.

And in case you think I’m making this up, here is what it says in the Bible:

People: Why didn’t You notice how diligently we fasted before You?
We humbled ourselves with pious practices and You paid no attention.

Eternal One: I have to tell you, on those fasting days,
all you were really seeking was your own pleasure;
Besides you were busy defrauding people and abusing your workers. ~ Isaiah 58:3

In condemning employers in his day, the prophet says, ‘you exploit your workers’ or ‘drive them on’; that is, you require them to work when they ought not to have to. In this case, a fast day; in other cases a Sabbath; or by simply requiring too many hours a day of labor.

If my land cries out against me,
if my furrows gather together to weep over my mistreatment of them,
If I have eaten the fruit of the land
without payment to those who tend it
or exasperated the lives of its tenants, the farmers, in pursuit of greater harvest, or in poor management of them;
Then let thistles grow instead of wheat
and stinkweed instead of barley. ~ Job 31:38-40

In this passage, Job is inviting God’s curse to fall upon him if he has broken the spirit of his tenant farmers.

Well, that’s enough theologizing from this bunny! I can tell you this: I’m pretty sure the Walmart and McDonald’s execs, and politicians who don’t want social safety net programs like SNAP aren’t thinking like Job, inviting God’s curse to fall upon them if they break the spirits’ of their sales associates and working poor. I’m not even sure they’re really contemplating the Golden Rule. All I can say is that it’s a good thing God isn’t it in the smiting business anymore.





Family Genealogy by Jasper Bunny

JasperPoseMy Auntie came to see me today! She was really bringing my Mama home after having both ends scoped (I’m telling you; that’s how my Mama-the-nurse talks all the time!), but she did come in to see me. Those two sisters can talk! It makes my little bunny ears tingle.

My Auntie was telling Mama that she and Uncle Saint Sam (he deserves every honorific title) are going down to Fresno watch the granddaughters for the weekend. That got me thinking about how the granddaughters are related to me. I don’t have any bunny siblings or relatives that I know of since I was an orphan. My human family isn’t so big, but you start adding in the granddaughters and first-cousins-once removed and it gets complicated really fast.

If I really wanted to be correct about this genealogy, we’d also have to figure out how The Boy fits in, since he’s the brother of the father of the granddaughters! That’s WAY too complicated for even a very smart bunny like me.

The granddaughters are Mama’s grand-nieces since she is the aunt to their father. That makes me a first-cousin to the granddaughters’ father and his daughters (aka the granddaughters) are my first cousins-once removed. Now when they have children, their children will be my first-cousins-twice-removed.

Now, if I had children – which I’m not because the whole world now knows the story of my nibbly bits – my bunny kids and my first-cousins-once-removed kids (aka the granddaughters’ kids) would be second cousins to each other and my first-cousins-twice removed.

It’s a good thing I only have a human family. If bunny’s really bred as much as people say bunny’s breed, I’d never be able to keep my bunny genealogy straight! It’s also a good thing that I don’t bible-talk. We’d all be lost in who’s begetting (begotten?) whom!


You Know Vacation is Over When … by Jasper Bunny

Jasper HomeWell, vacation is over and we’re all back at our own house. My human family tells me re-entry to regular life is hard for them, but they don’t have any idea how hard it is for a little bunny like me! It’s like being a kid. You don’t have much say in anything. And I have a lot to say about most things!

You know vacation is over when …

You’re sleeping in your own bed. Don’t get me wrong, I like my bed and I actually have my own bunny condo. But part of the magic of being on vacation is being somewhere else.

You have to re-train your human. My human Mama was on vacation too, so she also has to get back in the swing of things with me.

You are back in a schedule, or as much of a schedule as a nurse with a schedule that changes every few days can be. When I was on vacation at my Auntie’s I got to kinda set my own schedule. My Auntie had her own little routine with me, but I pretty much got to do as I pleased. It’s not like that at home!

You have to unpack and put everything away. I’m still unpacking and putting my stuff away! I’m pretty little, so it takes me a little while to move everything back where I like it and reclaim all my space. My sibling kitties will try and take some of my space, if I don’t stay on top of them! They get to roam the house house; both stories! And I’m restricted to one area! Sheesh! 

You start planning for your next vacation. I learned this from my Mama. She works so she can play and she’s really good about taking vacation. I’m pretty sure she’s already planning her next vacation! Yippee! That means I will get to go on a vacation too AND I might get to go by my self! She has a friend who likes to house sit, but she’s afraid of me! She doesn’t mind my kitty sibs, but I’m a little too Alpha Bunny for her. That means I’ll get to go to my Aunt and Uncle’s all by myself. Now that would be an awesome vacation!

Phew, I’m so glad I have another vacation to look forward too! My life would be SO boring and bleak if I didn’t have something fun and different to look forward to. Humans, especially, need to always have something to look forward to. Maybe they wouldn’t be so cranky.



My Purpose in Life Is Not Rabbit Gloves by Jasper Bunny

Bunny WhispererTo be clear: my purpose in life is not to be a pair of rabbit gloves. Can you believe someone actually said that of me?!? That I’d make a nice pair of rabbit gloves?!? I know my special friend the Bunny Whisperer said that jokingly, but it might have hurt my feelings if I wasn’t such a scrappy little bunny.

I really miss the Bunny Whisperer. I gave him that name because he was so good with me. He used to say he was a real bad ass, but if he was, he was the most tender-hearted bad ass around. When he made the decision to put his really old, really sick, best dog-friend, Moose, to sleep (that’s a terrible euphemism for death), he called my Auntie to pray for them. He was really, really sad. It was a terrible, horrible, really bad day.

The Bunny Whisperer came to stay with his sister, my Mama, for a few months. My Mama’s nephew was also staying here at the time. My Auntie called it the crazy house, but I’m not allowed to tell you why it was the crazy house. She says it’s not nice to gossip. I tried to tell her that gossiping surely can’t be worse than calling people names. Some people don’t like to be called crazy because crazy is their normal and who are we to judge anyway. Sometimes you just can’t reason with adults!

Anyway, the Bunny Whisperer was helping to take care of me as I was recuperating from my near-death experience after my nibbly bits surgery. That’s when he told his sister that I would make a really nice pair of rabbit gloves. Actually, I’m so little I would only be good for one rabbit glove. He told me it would be like a Michael Jackson glove, just one. Then he and The Boy would start singing and dancing to Thriller. Sometimes humans can be so weird!

I was thinking about how much I miss the Bunny Whisperer this morning and the music my Auntie streams from this classical station in San Francisco suddenly stopped. Uncle Sam went to check on it and “someone” had turned off the router! The whole power strip switch, that is behind this really big piece of furniture, was flipped all by itself. I know it was the Bunny Whisperer and he was justing letting me know he’s thinking of me too! He likes to do funky things with certain lights and fans in Auntie’s house. Not only was the power strip switched off, but the bedroom light where the power strip is was on!

It definitely was the Bunny Whisperer.

We’re on Vacation by Jasper Bunny

Jasper and TakumaMy kitty siblings and I are on vacation since our Mama is on vacation. She’s in Hawaii and we are at our Aunt and Uncle’s. It isn’t very exotic, but what do you expect. We’re just fur kids.

Our kitty cousins are very friendly, maybe too friendly since they really like my things and I have no privacy. I think Takuma wants to be a bunny! He really likes my hay and has taken all of my toys to other parts of the house where I can’t go. He threw up all over the place after eating my hay. Serves him right.

One of the best things about being on vacation is there are so many new things to do, my siblings, Spirit and Maui, leave me alone. Actually, I think they’re not used to other friendly kitties. Takuma really wants to make sure Spirit and Maui feel welcome, but they’re a little shy and like their space.

Spirit and Maui are really lucky because they get their own rooms and don’t even have to share with each other. They also get room service, eating their meals in their own rooms. I know part of the reason is Maui will eat Spirit’s food besides his own and he has a special diet.

Actually we all have special diets and my poor Auntie is becoming quite the special diet chef. I really like how she mixes my Greek yogurt into my critical care mush. I’m on antibiotics and my nurse Mama is worried about the flora and fauna of my gut. My Auntie really likes kale and she is very generous sharing some of her kale with me. I’m the only one who gets kale and that makes me specialer than the others.

I probably shouldn’t say I’m specialer, because that’s prideful. But then Takuma shouldn’t try to be a bunny. God made me an exotic and the kitties are just regular kitties (Is it prideful when it’s true?). I’ve heard my Mama talk about how my Auntie’s kitties are feral. That doesn’t sound like it’s something you should call other kitties. I’m not sure it’s nice. I learned that from humans. It’s not nice to say things about other beings unless you’re willing to be called that too. The thing is humans say a lot of things and do a lot of things without thinking about it.

Another things I really like about being on vacation is reading. My Auntie has a huge library of books right where I can get them. I’m especially enjoying the Hebrew Bible (It’s in Hebrew, in case you didn’t know) and a commentary on the minor prophets. I bet you don’t even know who Haggai and Zephaniah are! I do. They are fierce and say some pretty fierce stuff. Makes my little bunny ears burn!

Well, it’s time to shake things up. I think I’ll go pester Midori and Takuma. Maybe I’ll move Midori’s bed and take one of Takuma’s toys. I know all about the Golden Rule and maybe this will remind them that should know it too! Do you think they’ll think me fierce like the minor prophets?

Lucky Rabbit’s Foot by Jasper Bunny

JasperI’m pretty sure my unscheduled trip to the vet was because everyone was talking about their lucky rabbit’s foot! Talking about such a barbaric subject in front of a sensitive little bunny was not very thoughtful. Humans are always saying things about other humans when those other humans can hear what they’re saying. That is not very kind.

The family was talking about the lucky rabbit’s feet they had as kids. Some were blue. One was white and the other was purple. One had a natural looking rabbit’s foot. Eeewww! My Auntie was telling everyone she kept her bicycle lock key and skate key on her lucky rabbit’s foot until she found the rabbit’s toenail hidden in the blue fur! That gave me the willies just imagining it!

I must have been so distraught, I broke two of my own toenails off and bled all over everything! Of course this happened when my human Mama was at work saving lives. The thing about having a Mama who is a nurse is she is going to probe and poke you all over looking for the problem. With all of my medical trials and tribulations, I’m surprised she doesn’t have an I/O spreadsheet on me (that’s input and output and it’s not the same as 1s and 0s). I was really worried she was going to think it was something to do with my nibbly bits. Really. Nothing is sacred in a medical household. My poor Uncle Sam isn’t used to all of this anatomy sharing.

My Auntie had to come and get me and take me to see my vet friends! I’m a celebrity in their office. My Mama bagged up everything I bled all over – my pellet dish, my pad, the hay – and had a whole page of observations for Dr. Brick! Ay yi yi! I didn’t even get to say anything to Auntie because she was going on and on about a wild turkey that dropped out of the sky.

I was SO glad Dr. Brick figured out why I was bleeding and could explain it all to my family. I have a yummy antibiotic. I even got an alfalfa block as a treat when I got home!

My human grandfather was telling everyone about the bunnies that are in their yard. He’s a little upset with them because they are eating his grass and plants. It’s a good thing he was a rocket scientist rather than an entrepreneur because an entrepreneur would capture all those bunnies and make them into lucky rabbit’s feet! What the entrepreneur may not know is that not just any ‘ole rabbit foot is lucky. Lucky rabbit’s feet only come from graveyard bunnies. They say the luckiest rabbit’s feet are the left hind foot of a graveyard bunny killed in the dark of the moon! Now that is a frightful Halloween story perfect to scare all little bunnies and children!



My Sun Spot Keeps Moving by Jasper Bunny

Jasper Oct 13While all the fur people and tea bags are absorbed in the government shutdown, I am concerned my sun spot keeps moving! If the tea bags don’t care about their people, they certainly won’t care about this bunny. I guess they think since my fore-fur-fathers made it on Noah’s ark, I’ve evolved enough.

Actually, I’m quite resourceful and am glad for as little interference in my life as possible. Believe me, I’ll let you know if I don’t like something. My fur-Mama is a nurse and she is gone a very long time when she’s working at the medical center. That means I don’t get out of my bunny house for very long. I have learned how to escape my bunny-approved free area and found a nice corner in her dining room to chew up the carpet, showing my displeasure at being cooped up all day. She should just get rid of the allergy-causing stuff anyway.

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so hasty. She took out the carpeting in my other bunny-approved area and put in hardwood floors. Obviously, she never consulted me because I hate hardwood and tile floors. I can’t get any traction whatsoever on them and will not make a spectacle of myself like my fur-siblings the kitties do. Really, I’m much too evolved.

Now that I’m done waxing eloquent off-topic, let me share my sun spot dilemma. With the changing seasons, the sun is lower in the sky and doesn’t come in the windows like it did all spring and summer. So now it’s less sun for less long AND I have to fight my fur-siblings for it. Sometimes it’s exhausting being the Alpha Bunny, but I’m telling you, if you aren’t assertive, it’s “your own damn fault!” I LOVE that phrase! The Boy’s great-grandmother used to say that quite often, I’m told.

The other aspect about my sun spot moving is I know the cold season is coming. I was rescued from the wilds and would never have survived the cold season even if I managed to elude some beast from devouring me. But with this whole government shut-down mess, what are the old and poor people going to do when their energy assistance, early education programs, and nutrition assistance to women, infants, and children are cut-off or terminated? There is no one to rescue them and that makes me very sad.

I was rustling up the pages of my fur-Auntie’s special book that had this in it:

The Lord said: If any of your people become poor and unable to support themselves, you must help them, just as you are supposed to help foreigners who live among you. ~ Leviticus 25:35 (#faithfulfilibuster)

I think those tea bag people who are always talking Noah’s ark and God creating the whole universe and everything in it in six days flat, don’t read that part of the Bible. It seems to me it’s a whole lot easier to understand and is very clear what is expected than how God could create everything there ever was, is, or will be in six days! Those are the same people that will probably tell me to shut up and just worry about my sun spot moving.

Name Meanings by Jasper Bunny

JasperBunny2I suppose you have considered name meanings. Maybe you were told why you were named with your name. Sometimes people use names from someone special in their family tree or in honor of a special friend. Maybe you have children and picked their names out of a little book of names and their meanings. I’m pretty sure that was NOT how I got my name.

My name is Jasper Bunny. I’ve channeled other blog posts on Eternal Scheme before. I know you must have already read them. But if you don’t want to hurt my feelings or lie, you can read them here and here. You will also learn a little bit about me and, no doubt, be enlightened by some of my wisdom.

When the mother of the boy (he’s not really a boy any more. He might even be middle-aged because he is 35 years old!) asked him how he picked my name, he told her I looked like a Jasper. Obviously, he knows nothing about jasper because I don’t look anything like a spotted or speckled precious stone!

Sometimes people pick names out of the Bible. I’m pretty sure he didn’t pick my name for that either! His name is in the Bible AND he was named after special relatives. His great-great grandfather had the name Peter and his middle name, Kamejiro, is from his great-grandfather. I know that animals don’t always get the same consideration as humans, and that is why we end up with such weird or ordinary names. I guess I should be grateful that Jasper isn’t too ordinary. That would be a definite insult to my exoticness.

Actually, my name isn’t a name in the Bible. Jasper is in the Bible, but it’s a precious stone. It’s a pretty important precious stone too! God told Moses to put jasper in the breastplate of the vestments for his brother Aaron, who was a special priest over all the other priests and people. God had all kinds of things for Moses to do. To make sure Moses didn’t get distracted, God had Moses climb up the mountain. They had a forty day and forty night training program or something up there. That’s when God told Moses about putting jasper in the breastplate of the vestments. In fact, there were four rows of precious stones. Jasper was in the fourth row with beryl and onyx. We were set in gold filigree too. I’m sure I was the most stunning stone in the whole outfit! (If you have a Bible and can find it, your can read all about it in Exodus 28).

That whole get-up must have weighed a ton! A little bunny like me would have been completely squished. The boy’s mother told me that when she wore vestments at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, she could hardly move, they were so heavy. I don’t think hers had rocks in them, but I guess gold can weigh a lot. Back then, everything was built for men.

The other place jasper is mentioned in the Bible is in the very last book, Revelation (just a reminder, people: no s at the end of Revelation). Jasper gets mentioned in all the radiance glimmering around the new Jerusalem. That must have been one spectacular vision for John who wrote Revelation!

No one really knows what the names of the three dudes who brought baby Jesus gifts when he was born, but tradition has it one of them was Jasper! Actually, he was Persian, so his name was probably Kasper. He was the one who brought the frankincense. Besides, Americans all know Casper as a friendly ghost and that makes it really confusing for kids who are trying to get all these people and stories figured out!

Next time you get the chance to give a human person or a fur person a name, I hope you’ll pick a special name. We are all stuck with our names for the rest of our lives (unless you change your name and that is a whole other interesting topic!). Plus, if you’re anything like the humans I live with, they make up all kinds of songs and ditties with your name. Sometimes I wonder about human grown-ups.

One final thought … Kamejiro is often represented as a turtle. I am an exotic bunny. I’m pretty sure that was not on purpose.

More Lessons from Jasper Bunny

JasperBunny2I’ve been a very busy bunny lately. I forgot how much work it is to get well! The only good thing about it is I get out of the house every day. Going to the vet isn’t my most favorite past time, but sometimes you have to find little niceties in the unpleasant things in life.

This whole vet thing got me thinking about a few more things I have to say. My human Auntie told me it’s good to write things down and share. It helps you because it gets it out of your worry brain and it helps other fur creatures because they probably go through similar things. Besides, I’m a really wise bunny.

1. Embrace your exoticness. I found out just how exotic I was in a most unpleasant way. My people took me to a regular ‘ole vet to have my nibbly bits removed. (Is that considered TMI?) That’s when I found out that the fur monster who took a bite out of my ear also snacked on another tasty morsel because a nibbly bit was missing! (Now that probably is TMI.) The regular vet recommended we see a vet who specialized in exotics. Good thing because I had so many problems after my nibbly bit surgery.

Being exotic is being really special. I sometimes remind my human family that us fur creatures are more special because we were created before the human creatures. Even fleas were created before the humans. Sometimes they just have to be reminded because they think they are most special. No, they’re special too, but not more special.

The only thing I don’t like about going to an exotic vet is that other exotics see her too. And I REALLY don’t like snakes! The other day a snake came in when my Auntie was getting me and my cousins. I was worried my Auntie was going to have a heart attack or stroke before we got out of there. She hates snakes as much as me. She can’t hate snakes more because they won’t eat her. I’m sure I’d be a sumptuous appetizer. Four snakes came in today. I was really glad to have my own fortified chariot.

2. Take things as they come. I sure do wish my human family would remember this. There is so much a little bunny cannot control. There are a lot of things my human family cannot control, but they are so silly and think they can. They really need to listen to me. I am always modeling taking things as they come. Like this parasite. I have a very sensitive tummy and sometimes it gets whacked out. I just have to be a good bunny, take my medicine, get my enemas (that does stretch me sometimes), and eat my critical care mush. If I take things as they come, before I know it I’ll be over it!

3. Maintain an [good] attitude. Personally I think having an attitude is just fine, but I do live with others and need them to help me, so I try to have a good attitude most of the time. It’s okay to let them them know when you’re displeased. Just use your words. Since I don’t have any words, I thump or rearrange my house. Sometimes its good to throw things. It’s never okay to throw things at other creatures. That’s not having a good attitude.

4. Treat others well. You never know when you’re going to need them. I really like Dr. Brick. When I was so sick after my nibbly bit surgery, I sometimes called her Dr. Pick because she had to pick at ickies on me. But I don’t think that’s very nice, so I try to be respectful and bring treats (Yes. Humans like treats too.) Good thing because when I get sick I have to see her a lot! Everyone at the clinic knows me. That’s because I’m a special exotic and have survived lots of ickiness, but only because Dr. Brick, Andie, Cassie, and Greg have taken such great care of me and Laura makes sure I get in because I’m special. I’m don’t know Dr. Sanchez as well, but she takes good care of me too.

5. Be hospitable. This is going to be a real stretch for me this coming week. My people are going to Oregon. They’re going fishing, but they’re also going to put the Bunny Whisperer’s ashes somewhere special. I was really sad when the Bunny Whisperer died. He was one of my special people.

Us fur creatures have to stay home. I have two kitty siblings – Maui and Spirit – and my two kitty cousins – Takuma and Midori – are coming to stay with us. I have stayed with my two kitty cousins before so I know them. I know they like my bunny house! I would growl at them, but they didn’t seem to pay any attention. Oh well, chasing them is very effective if I want to be left alone. See, that’s why you have at be the alpha bunny!

The lady coming to stay with all of us is bringing Diego the Dog. Maui, Spirit, and I know Diego really well. We’ll see how Takuma and Midori like Diego. They are so laid back, I’m sure it will be fine. I have already been informed that since I’m the alpha bunny, I have to set an example and be hospitable. So much responsibility sometimes.

I’m so glad I wrote this for you. I feel better already!

Lessons from Jasper Bunny

JasperMy name is Jasper and I am a Netherland dwarf rescue bunny. I was really little so I don’t really remember what happened, but I know I was found by two really nice men. Even though they didn’t know anything about bunnies, they brought me to one of their houses. I was so relieved to be out of the wilds! A big scary fur monster took a bite out of one of my ears! I don’t have to worry about any of that anymore.

My fur people have a lot to say about me. But I have a few things to say too. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned since being rescued from the wilds.

1. Sometimes you have to find a new family. I don’t know why my old family dumped me in the wilds, but they did. I was fortunate enough to get a new family. Sometimes that’s just the way it is; your family may be doing the best they can with what they have to work with or maybe they have too many of their own problems. They will always be your family, but it’s okay to have a few others in the human tribe that are like family. Sometimes they find you and sometimes you find them.

2. Sometimes you have to tolerate others who aren’t like you. I live with two other cats and one human. They can be so pesky and I have to assert myself as the alpha bunny. It works most of the time. Sometimes the human can be a bit much, like when she puts that cold stethoscope on my tummy to listen to my bowels. What does she think I am?!? One of her hospital patients? Sheesh. But then I remember she takes really good care of me and buys me my favorite hay. The cats pretty much leave me alone. I think one of them is scared of me and I have to remind the other one I will share up to a point. Being tolerant does not mean being a doormat.

3. Sometimes you have to eat poo. I know. Gross. Humans say it all the time, but I don’t think they really eat poo. I do eat my cecatropes because they are really important for my digestive track. I must have the most sensitive digestive track on the planet. Right now, it’s a bit messed up because some I got some alpha parasite that didn’t want to play nicely in my gut and I have had to see my doctor every day for enemas and other nasties. I know. Double gross. And I do eat poo!

4. Kick up your heels. My favoritest thing is to be out of my bunny house. I have a three-story bunny house with toys and lots of good things to eat and two water bottles! But I still like to get out. When that cage door opens up, I hop right on out, kick up my heels, and do my twistees in the air. You really should try it. Even when things aren’t going really well, you can still kick up your heels. It just makes you happy.