Things You Don’t Learn in Sunday School: Conviction at the Expense of Compassion

Has the community of faith, any faith, always been this polarized? While I can’t speak to other faiths, I wonder if this polarization is happening in some other faith traditions besides Christianity as well. If God had a grave to roll in, I’m sure God would be dizzy with rolling! How did things get to be such a mess?

What do you remember of your Sunday School years? If you did go to Sunday School, you probably learned a bunch of stories: Noah and the Ark, Jesus feeding the multitudes, the Good Samaritan, maybe Paul on the road to Damascus. You also probably learned a few concepts like the Ten Commandments, love your neighbor as yourself, or treat others the way you want to be treated. Basically, you learned about being a kind and loving person to others, being compassionate to others less fortunate than yourself.

Maybe your Sunday School class raised money for the Heifer Project, giving farm animals to families so they could raise more animals and share those animals with other families in their village or UNICEF, helping children in developing countries. The point was to think about others less fortunate than yourself and do something to make a difference. Sunday School exposed you to the stories that are important to the faith and encouraged you to develop your own faith path, becoming a light to the world.

Somewhere along the way, some detoured from the compassion path and ended up on the conviction road. And I understand. Compassion is messy. Compassion makes us uncomfortable. Conviction is clear. Conviction erects barriers. Compassion requires something of us. Conviction separates us. Compassion cares. Conviction judges

We didn’t learn about conviction in Sunday School, but we learned a whole lot about compassion. Why do you think that was?

That leads me right to what I believe is the heart of the gospel message that often gets lost in the translation of life: Jesus calls us into a new relationship with God, transforming our relationship with ourselves and each other, including the most vulnerable and even our enemies! 

Yikes! Now that is a convicting message that totally transforms our convictions into compassion. The message from God to the Israelites and the message of Jesus to us remains:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27).

No longer can we exert our rights, our ethics, our interests, our beliefs, our country at the expense of everyone else. In other words, our neighbor’s rights, ethics, interests, beliefs, and even country must be considered as much as our own. This isn’t easy to accept, much less do. Yet that is exactly what we were taught in Sunday School. The stories were told to help us see how living out compassion – loving your neighbor as yourself – benefits all of us.

Of course, living a life of compassion doesn’t guarantee a life full of hearts, sparkles, and unicorns. And, we’re not responsible for the outcome. In fact, it’s not our place to convict. We are called to love. Period.

And here’s something else that’s interesting: people are attracted to transformational experiences. When people see compassion lived out, they can’t help but take notice. That’s God’s transformative message in action. It’s attractive and effective. It’s also the only thing that truly works for the benefit of all.

The next time we want to open our mouths to spew conviction or the next time we hear someone else spewing conviction, may we evaluate how those statements of conviction are going to benefit anyone. When the message or solution includes compassion, at some level for the most vulnerable or those on the margins, then we know God is at work in us, through us, and among us. Amen.

Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment

I Need Your Help

Marriage is a hot topic these days! I’ve been officiating weddings and civil unions for over 30 years. I used to conduct premarital sessions with couples to talk about some of the issues that will certainly come up in the course of their married life. I gave the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment and went over their results, using it as a foundation for helping each to see how personality differences impact relationships and give insight for understanding and coping with those differences. We also covered the usual array of topics: money, sex, intimacy, children, communication, in-laws, along with planning their ceremony.

What I learned early on was couples were so caught up in the planning and excitement of their wedding, as well as all the stress of this very unnatural time in their lives, that they weren’t really open to delving into the intricacies of their relationship. They were much more open to implementing some new skills three to six months into the marriage. By then, they had a few trouble spots surface or were realizing marriage was not quite what they were expecting. By this time, they hadn’t spent years perfecting unhealthy coping mechanisms and ugly communication habits. There was hope to make early course corrections that would better serve them as they continued adjusting to their new life together.

I need your help. I’m in the processing of writing a book for couples after their wedding. I’m hoping you’ll share with me your thoughts and insights of things that you learned or observed in the months and years after your wedding or commitment ceremony.

Marriage is a huge adjustment and yet we’re not really good about talking about it. Sometimes hearing what others have experienced and learned gives hope when you feel like you’re the only ones who aren’t experiencing the marital bliss everyone talks about.

I’m interested in anything you have to offer! It can be a simple list or you can wax as eloquently as your little heart desires. I’m hoping to hear from those of you who are married, those who are divorced, same-gender couples, widowed, or any combination thereof!

To make it easy for you, there are a variety of ways to share your wisdom with me:

Thanks, in advance, for helping me out!

photo by: firemedic58
Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment

Creativity

Kimono Cross Stitch

Imagination and original work are intrinsic to our humanity. I’m even going to step out on a limb and say that we must engage in some form or level of imagination and creativity or we risk shriveling up or succumbing to some sort of existential angst. Fear not! I’m not going to get all scholarly here, but I do think imagination and creativity are important to our well-being.

Creativity is as unique as you are as a person. Each of us has our own avenues for creativity. Some avenues are cultivated through training and lessons, other avenues are enjoyed informally. Some of us see ourselves are creative and have no problem letting our imaginations loose. Others of us may not see ourselves as having any creativity and struggle allowing ourselves the luxury of using our precious time in seemingly non-productive endeavors.

There’s a part of me that’s creating a great deal of the time. I tap into some form of creativity three times a week when I write this blog. I use my creativity in our tech business, Cloudtippers, writing, designing, problem-solving, marketing and every sort of odd thing needed in having a business. My husband accesses his creative side in the elegant code he creates developing websites and web apps. He’s passionate about code and can totally lose himself when he’s developing. His coding creativity may not be seen, but it’s behind-the-scenes-magic is experienced whenever someone uses the app he’s created.

Creativity is fulfilling. There’s something powerful and fulfilling seeing something you’ve created come to fruition. I imagine my parents had that sense when they finishing adding on to the house in which I grew up. My Dad drew the plans for the 1,500 square-foot addition. Then they did almost all of the construction and finishing themselves. Us three kids were conscripted into slave labor moving lumber when it was delivered, cleaning up the construction site, and every other unskilled labor requirement imaginable. At the end, they must have had an incredible sense of accomplishment completing such a grand project of scope and craftsmanship.

Not every creative project is major endeavor. Some are simpler such as arranging flowers from your yard, making a meal from the vegetables grown in your garden, setting a pretty table for yourself (I know. I used to stand at the kitchen sink and eat my oatmeal out of the pan when I lived alone!). There’s satisfaction is taking the time and using some ingenuity in the little things.

Creativity is necessary. When we embark on a creative adventure of any kind, we access a different part of our brain than what we use for more cognitive functions. Giving ourselves time to be creative actually enhances our overall ability to solve problems and perform better. It seems paradoxical, like taking time out to plan. Often people think planning is a waste of time and time taken away from something that yields more productivity. However, the opposite is true; the time used in planning more than makes up for time used in effectiveness and efficiency.

In today’s culture, we need opportunities to recharge and relax. Creative projects allow that to happen. Our on-demand culture seduces us into thinking everything is on-demand, including how we work and how we engage the people and world around us. Creative projects cause us to step back, take time, and re-connect with simpler or different tasks. We get the satisfaction of experiencing something start to finish in whatever time it takes to complete or participate. We often find ourselves immersed in what we’re doing, transported to another place. And it is good.

The picture above is my almost-finished counted cross stitch project I started 9 years ago when I was recuperating from my ankle replacement surgery! I plan to mat and frame it, and enter it in our county fair. I want a ribbon, preferably first-place (my competitive nature is very difficult to tame)!

Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment

Things You Don’t Learn in Sunday School: Mother God

Mother’s Day is the perfect time to stir things up a bit. Mother’s Day is the third highest church attendance day behind Christmas and Easter. It’s also the most difficult day for many women who attend church. There are lots of reasons for this, but here area few that I heard often:

  • Many women desired to have children, but didn’t or couldn’t for a myriad of reasons. Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of that reality for them.
  • Many women have unresolved issues around their relationship with their own mother.
  • Their mother recently died and the grief is still raw.
  • Many women are struggling in their role as mother in their relationships with their daughters.
  • Many churches have a strong patriarchy and a man is in the pulpit telling women how to be godly wives and mothers. Enough said.

We may have learned in Sunday School that God is neither male nor female, but that God transcends gender. If God created male and female in God’s likeness, then God must be both male and female. OK. That makes sense. Then there’s Jesus who is definitely male. The Holy Spirit is often referred to as male. However, both the Hebrew and Greek words for spirit are feminine, so I prefer to think of the Holy Spirit is feminine terms. Language can be limiting and often times something really is lost in the translation.

On this Mother’s Day, I want us to consider God as Mother. We never outgrow our need for nurturing and love. No matter how successful or independent or self-actualized we become, we still seek empathy and comfort. When faced with a difficult choice or when suffering from a stinging setback, we don’t want to be told what to do or how to buck up or reprimanded for falling short. We want a listening ear, a safe place to heal and re-group. We want to be comforted, not cajoled.

God can be all of those traits for us. In fact, I think God desires to be present for us in just that sort of way. One of my favorite verses is such a metaphor:

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you (Isaiah 66:13)

Can’t you just picture the tenderness of a mother, scooping up her child in her arms and holding that child close to her heart? Wiping away the tears and whispering her love in that child’s ear? And then patiently listening as her child pours forth all the pain and hurt and frustration that has built up?

This Mother’s Day let’s give thanks, or at least consider, God as Mother to her children … all of her children.

 

photo by: Chas Redmond
Posted in Eternal Scheme | 1 Comment

Fruit or Vegetable

The tomato. Is it a fruit or vegetable?

I think it was sometime early on in elementary school when we were learning about fruits and vegetables that the question came up about the tomato. Was it a fruit or was it a vegetable?

The answer, we were told, was it was both. I went to school in the dark ages, when answers were either correct or wrong. There was no in-between. Oh, sometimes questions were written in such a way to be tricky and make sure you were correctly reading the question, but there was only one correct answer.

So how could a tomato be both a fruit and a vegetable? We were told the tomato was a fruit because it produced seeds and was grown from the flowering part of the plant. Botanically, a tomato was a fruit.

However, the tomato was also a vegetable because it was commonly thought to be a vegetable. Now THAT made no sense at all! A tomato was a vegetable because most people perceived it to be a vegetable? You can imagine how confusing THAT would be for a young person. Somehow my perception of being right in an argument with my sister didn’t count for anything when arguing my case before my mother! How could my perception of a tomato as vegetable be right but not my perception of being right in an argument against my sister?!? Of course, I thought it was just another instance of adult dominance against children, imposing their rules and regulations haphazardly to validate their own judgment (Yes, I really did think like that).

Imagine my surprise when I learned today that the United States Supreme Court ruled on the issue of tomato as fruit versus vegetable in 1893 in Nix vs. Hedden! Seriously.

The Tariff Act of 1883 required a tax to be paid on imported vegetables, but not fruit. John Nix filed a suit against Edward Hedden, the collector of the Port of New York. Their goal was to recover back taxes paid. Their argument was that, since botanically a tomato was a fruit, and not a vegetable, there should have been no tariffs required on tomatoes.

A lower court had ruled that since the ordinary meaning of tomato was classified as a vegetable, it fell under The Tariff Act of 1883. When the case went be fore the Supreme Court, Webster’s Dictionary, among others, was consulted by both sides as to the definition of a tomato. Needless to say, the Supreme Court unanimously upheld the lower court when it ruled that, for the purposes of taxation, the tomato was a vegetable because of it’s ordinary perception of the general public.

I can now see why we were never told the real reason a tomato is classified as a vegetable! When remarks are made today about the nature of some cases that come before the Supreme Court, I can say with unequivocal assuredness that this is nothing new. We have a history of bringing seemingly odd cases before the Court. I haven’t yet decided if this is a good or a bad thing.

photo by: photon_de
Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment

The Long Haul

Peter and Jani

The oral vaccine for polio was discovered in my lifetime. Except for a few isolated incidences, polio has essentially been eradicated. Small pox, another deadly disease that those of us of a certain age had to be inoculated against before starting school, is also essentially eradicated. Tuberculosis (TB) and HIV, however, continue to challenge world health organizations. With global support and early testing, detection, and treatment worldwide, we could have no new cases of TB and HIV by 2015.

I was fortunate to be vaccinated against polio and small pox. My best friend in second grade, however, contracted polio before she could be vaccinated. She wore braces on her legs and had the horrible stigma of being the only person in elementary school with polio. You can imagine how ugly kids were to her.

TB and HIV are another story. I was a chaplain at a major Army hospital in the early 1980s. One of the patients I routinely saw was diagnosed with lung cancer. I would sit on the edge of his bed and hold his hand while we talked. Inevitably he’d have a fit of coughing when he tried to talk. It was awful seeing him struggle to breathe or cough up what looked like his lungs.

I was getting ready to make my usually rounds one day and one of the doctors called me aside. He wanted me to have a test for TB right then and there. Apparently, my patient didn’t have lung cancer. He had tuberculosis and I now had inactive TB.

Shortly after I started my year of treatment, my sons and I were in California visiting my family for Christmas. I received a call from the Colorado Public Health Department requesting that my sons be tested immediately for TB. Their licensed day care provider had family visiting from Pakistan and one of the family members presented in the emergency room with active TB! Now my sons would be starting a year of medicine.

We were fortunate to be living in a country that takes public health issues seriously and has ways of quickly mobilizing to track, notify, and treat people with communicable diseases. When my son was diagnosed with HIV, there was a protocol he had to follow to protect himself and others.

We may think we don’t need to be concerned about other countries’ health concerns or even health concerns we don’t think impact us directly. Those days are long gone. Because we are a global community, we are all impacted and it serves all of us to be invested in wrangling TB and HIV out of existence. We need to fund global testing and treatment. We need to be educated and tested ourselves. We have the answers and we know what to do. With a little concerted effort, we can meet the global goal of no new cases by 2015!

If you’re looking for a simple way to be involved, my sister is participating in the upcoming NorCall AIDS Cycle. My son is part of the support crew for Team CARES. Your donation goes to the clinic that directly benefits my son and others! Oh, and the picture above is my sister, Janet and my son, Peter.

Posted in Eternal Scheme, HIV/AIDS | 2 Comments

Things You Don’t Learn in Sunday School: Idols Aren’t Figurines

Ten_Commandments_Monument

The story of Moses going up on Mount Sinai for a face-to-face meeting with God is a very popular story in Sunday School. In case you’ve forgotten the plot, check out Exodus 31:18-32:35.

Moses was gone so long, the people of Israel were certain Moses wasn’t coming back. They convinced Moses’ brother, Aaron, into letting them create an image of the local god to worship.

The Sunday School curriculum writer’s wanted to scare you about worshipping false gods and used phrases like graven image to get their point across. My six year-old imagination had a heyday with that thought! The concept of God is difficult enough for a child. What is a child supposed to think about false gods? A child doesn’t even have language for those concepts.

Having Catholic friends helped with the whole idolatry concept. Now there was a group of people who worshipped idols. They had statues and special saints they prayed to, and everyone wore a St. Christopher necklace! They also had to go to confession before they went to church on Sundays because they had to tell the priest about all of their sins. If they went to church without confessing their sins, they would be taking a detour through purgatory to heaven. If you couldn’t go to God directly and had to talk to this priest who was hid in a special closet, how did you know you weren’t worshipping a false idol? And since the entire church service was in Latin, how did you even know what was going on in the first place? Who’s to say you weren’t being tricked into worshipping a false god? (I warned you about my active child imagination).

I must confess that I haven’t really been thinking about idolatry much these days. I have American politics to thank for bringing me back to reality. Not only are Americans worshipping at the altar of politics, but the conservative right has been trying to back-pedal on their accusations that Mormonism is the worship of a false god, now that they need to get behind their preemptive candidate, who happens to be Mormon.

Idolatry, or the worship of false gods, is the admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone other than God. The tricky part about idolatry is that it’s easy to hide behind rhetoric. Since idol worshippers aren’t worshipping a figurine, but an ideology that’s not grounded in biblical principles, it’s sticky and difficult to pin point. Instead of using politics to shape one’s faith, the faith community needs to confront the idolatry of politics.

Faith needs to inform politics. As people of faith, our scriptures and sacred texts give us guidelines for how we are to live our lives and the issues we must concern ourselves. Submitting to the opaque influence of Super-PACS and monied-donors undermines our democracy. Following the powerful instead of heeding the needs of the powerless, weakens our understanding and charge to care for the poor, sick, and orphaned. Unlimited funding of defense at the expense of social safety net programs and education is idolatrous worship at the altar of might. Focusing on divisive, hot-button social issues instead of supporting human dignity and human rights for all people is blatant idolatry before the God in whose image we are all created.

No, idolatry is not the worship of a figurine. It would be so much easier to discern if it were merely a figurine.

Photo credit: J Williams, Ten Commandments Monument from the grounds of the Texas State Capitol. Austin, Texas.

Posted in Eternal Scheme | 1 Comment

Boy’s Day

My sons are half-Japanese. Their Japanese roots can be traced back to something like the ninth century. Their Japanese grandmother’s family has a samurai background. Their Japanese grandfather’s family comes from humble roots, but they can be traced back centuries too. I was very close to my sons’ great-grandparents and relished all of the stories and the richness of the familial heritage. When my sons were born, their names were written on the ancient family scrolls in Japan.

I wanted my sons to have some knowledge of their Japanese heritage. I learned enough Japanese to be conversational (if I spoke to them in Japanese when we were in public, they knew I meant business), learned to cook some of the traditional dishes, and incorporated a few traditions, like Boy’s Day, into our own family traditions. I must have been Japanese in a past life because I love the culture.

Boy’s Day, Tango-no-Sekku, is celebrated on May 5. The corresponding Girl’s Day is celebrated March 3. In modern Japan, May 5 is now celebrated as Children’s Day and is a national holiday. Children are seen as one of the nation’s greatest assets. The day is set aside to stress the importance of respecting the character of children and promoting their health and happiness. It is also the day for children to express their gratitude for the tender love and care they receive from their parents.

One custom is to fly a carp kite for each son in the family. My sons had his own carp kite that we hung outside on Boy’s Day. The carp has become a symbol for Boy’s Day because it is the most spirited of all fish. It is so full of energy and power that it can fight its way up swift-running streams and cascades. Because of its strength and determination to overcome all obstacles, it stands for courage and the ability to attain high goals. The carp is an appropriate symbol to encourage manliness and the overcoming of life’s difficulties leading to consequent success.

A favorite legend is Kintaro and figurines are displayed in special corners of the house. Kintaro was a samurai hero who displayed great strength and bravery when still a child. It is said he rode a bear instead of a horse and was friends with all the forest animals when he was a boy. My oldest son was given his set of Kintaro dolls when he was born and each year we read the stories as part of our Boy’s Day celebration.

Mochi (a sweet, rice confection often with a sweet bean paste) and chimaki (a sweet rice paste wrapped in iris leaves) are served. They are so tasty! Needless to say, mochi is impossible to come by in my part of Texas!

Neither of my sons have sons of their own. However, when May 5 comes around every year, my internal clock reminds me of the Boy’s Days we’ve celebrated together. I’m so grateful they have their rich Japanese heritage to draw from. They are still samurai at heart.

photo by: rumpleteaser
Posted in Eternal Scheme | 2 Comments

The Right to Vote

Today (as I write this) is the beginning of early voting for our city. County elections and state elections are scheduled later in the month. I never realized the differences in voting laws, practices, and information there was between states. I’ve lived and voted in many states, but never have I had such a challenge as living in Texas.

Thankfully, for you, I’m going to spare you my trials and tribulations around voting. Suffice it to say, that if I didn’t believe so strongly in exercising my right to vote, I would have given up awhile ago! I have a whole new appreciation for the Justice Department having Texas on their voter’s rights watch list.

I’m certain that President Lyndon B. Johnson, a Texan himself, is spinning in his grave. One of the lasting legacies of Johnson’s administration was the Voting Rights Act of 1965. It was enacted to guarantee the equal right to vote for every American. While African American men gained the right to vote with the 15th Amendment, some states continued to erect barriers to black voters that continued well into the 1960s. Legislation for civil rights and voting were two key pieces of legislation that began to right the many wrongs against people of color and women.

So here we are again. It’s the 21st century and voting rights and women’s rights are being challenged … again. We can never take for granted the strides gained toward equality. There will always be factions who want to garner power for themselves and agendas that serve their interests. That’s why education and the right to vote are so important. Education and the right to vote threaten to undermine the power these factions seek to keep. Exactly why oppressive regimes prohibit education, of girls in particular, and open elections.

I’m about ready to tackle Dante’s Inferno. It’s Dante’s epic work depicting hell, guided by the Roman poet Virgil. I’m beginning to think that we might be experiencing the Eighth and Ninth Circles of Hell, fraud and treachery, in current American politics. I’ll let you know (smile).

photo by: hjl
Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment

Things You Don’t Learn in Sunday School: Talk to Strangers

Something unfortunate happens on the way to adulthood. It becomes easier to follow along with what others think (and tell you what you should believe) than to forge your own way. It’s easy to become arrested in spiritual development, staying stuck in the nice stories we learn as children in Sunday School. Nice stories are designed to be age-approriate.

Once we move out of childhood, however, it’s time to think critically about the biblical stories and ramifications of theological ideas. This is where I see the greatest deficiency in today’s extremely diverse church (that’s my nice way of including über-conservatives). Election season always seem to bring out the underbelly of the church’s divisions. Actually, I’m all for a wide-spectrum of beliefs. What I get so discouraged about is when factions, especially in the church, refuse to be respectful of another’s beliefs or say that the Unites States is a Christian nation and that’s why [their agenda] is the only agenda.

I’ve been immersed in the Hebrew scriptures (aka the Old Testament) lately. I know. Weird, especially since it’s been more than thirty years since I’ve read Hebrew! I was desperate to find something to keep my attention on the treadmill. This iTunes U course has video and I can get in three miles in thirty minutes! One of the verses I’ve been meditating on ties in with something before the Supreme Court right now. It’s also a hot topic on the election circuit and, as to be expected, a divisive issue in the church.

Here’s the passage:

When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God (Leviticus 19:33-34).

There are several passages in the bible that refer to strangers. Here are a couple of more:

You shall also love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt (Deuteronomy 10:19).

… for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me’ (Matthew 25:35, 40).

The stranger or the alien is a modern-day immigrant or anyone different than ourselves. There is no way to get around it. What I found fascinating is God’s command for the Israelites to welcome as citizens those strangers, the aliens, who reside with them. The rationale was based on the fact that the Israelites were once strangers themselves! They were aliens and slaves when they lived in Egypt. It wouldn’t be the only time they would be exploited and discriminated against. They suffered several captivities over the centuries, with modern-day migrations to the U.S. from Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries. Jews were not allowed to be citizens, although they were conscripted to serve in their armies, and their lives were made so miserable in many Eastern European countries they “self-deported”. And we all know about the atrocities by the Nazis.

There is no doubt that a great need for immigration reform exists at the federal level. However, the legislation (SB 1070) brought about by Arizona and Alabama clearly undermines Judeo-Christian values and American ideals. Actions and legislation intentionally designed to marginalize, discriminate against, ethnically profile, or dehumanize any of God’s children is ethically and morally wrong. It’s even sinful.

The stories we learn in Sunday School are designed to introduce us to the God who is invested in creation and humanity. As we grow up and as our faith deepens, we are called to live out our values by loving our neighbor, welcoming the stranger, speaking out for defending justice on their behalf.

In a way, we’re all undocumented. God never requires us to “show our papers” in order to be accepted into God’s family. We are welcome, no longer strangers, only because of grace.

photo by: seeveeaar
Posted in Eternal Scheme | Leave a comment